“No Pineapple Left Behind” Hilariously Pokes Fun at the Not-so-Funny Flaws of the American Education System

No Pineapple Left Behind is a satirical sim about education and standardized testing, developed by Subaltern Games, creators of the serious strategy game Neocolonialism.

In this single-player PC game, players run a middle school and turn their pesky students into test-taking pineapples. Pineapples are preferable to students because pineapples just take standardized tests and sit quietly in class, while children ask questions, demand teachers’ time and energy, and other pesky things. The school’s goal is to pass exams, and pineapples are great at filling in bubbles and passing exams.

Teachers can cast spells to make children and pineapples memorize facts for the exam, but be careful, spending time with one struggling student will render a teacher too exhausted to continue cramming data into the rest of the class.

The latest dev diary video introduces a teaching dilemma: a young boy named David likes wearing makeup to class. Should you create a comprehensive anti-bullying program, teaching children to respect each other’s differences, and provide reasonable consequences as a deterrent to bullying behavior? Or just turn David into a pineapple? Pineapples, as we all know, don’t wear makeup and don’t get bullied.

No Pineapple Left Behind will have different scenarios like this to complete, as well as a more open-ended play mode. The game is scheduled for release in early 2016.

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  1. Pineapples Don't Wear Makeup • Simpson's Paradox

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